Monday, December 16, 2013

Oakland, are you ready for us?!

One of the reasons I love keeping this blog is because it's almost like a diary at times, a personal space that I can share my emotions and feelings with the people that mean the most to me.  I've been wanting to sit down and write for the past week or so, but didn't have the time.  Or perhaps it was because I just wasn't ready yet.

As many of you know, Jim was traded to the Oakland Athletics at the beginning of the month.  It all started with a day of rumors swirling around the television and different social media networks.  I didn't read too much into it at first ... after all, there is always "talk" and most of the time it's nothing.  Then as the day progressed, the rumors kept on, and I was starting to get anxious.  More anxious than usual ... so much that I called Jim (who was on his way to California for the MLB Union meetings) and asked if he had heard of anything.  Of course he told me what he always does, told me not to worry and that everything would be okay.  But this time, I was still worried.  I couldn't fall asleep.

Then it happened.  I heard the news.  I was in shock and the tears started.  I wanted nothing more than to be with Jim as he learned of this news, but unfortunately he was all the way on the West Coast.  Couldn't even give him a hug ... couldn't even be together to tell each other it would be okay.

Everything came flooding into my mind at once.  I don't think I've ever had so many mixed emotions.  Jim started his career with Baltimore, so it's really all we know.  We've experienced so many things during this part of the journey.  Began dating, got married, started our family.  Jim put down some major roots both in Baltimore and Sarasota, going out into the communities and doing some amazing things to help people.  I began to get involved with a charity that really stole a piece of my heart.  Baltimore was easy to call a second home for us.  We had such wonderful support from my family and many friends who lived in the area.  The team itself felt like a family and I met so many wonderful wives and families along the way.  I made friendships that will surely last a lifetime.  Most importantly, I grew deeper in my faith during this part of our baseball journey.

So I must say that when we heard such shocking news, I felt like our life had been turned upside down.  And that makes me sound so ungrateful.  But a lot of change had happened at once.  Big changes for our family.  Now spring training isn't at home.  Less family time.  Needing to find two other places to live.  Luckily, as all these emotions took over, family and friends reached out with some of the most helpful advice I've ever been given.  I finally realized that we had a choice.  We could either be negative about this situation or we could be positive.  Make the most of it.  From the words of a sweet friend, "It is so hard to not focus on what you think you are losing, but soon you will see that because it is God directed, it is the only journey you want to be on."  Such simple words made me change my whole outlook.

This will be a good thing!  My sister sent me this quote ... "Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together."  It won't be easy to leave so many people we love in Baltimore, but I'm ready for this next part of the journey.  It will be a challenge and won't come without more tears, but it will be exciting.  Our family will get through this ... together.  And while we are enjoying the ride, we'll be cheering "Go A's!" the whole time.  Who's with me?!



Mama Rowland said...

After talking with you on the phone at midnight that night, I woke up in the morning thinking this was all a dream! But, no, it wasn't. It took a while but I think we all finally have it together and realize everything is going to be just fine. Things really do happen for a reason.
Go A's!!

Sue said...

No matter where you are, if baseball is involved or not, we're with you through this journey. Our loyalty runs deep. I can't agree more with Mama Rowland, everything is going to be just fine. God's plan is not for us to question. I love the quote that Stephen often reminds us "I don't know what my future holds but I do know who holds my future". Trust. Love you guys. XO